Every 3 months or so someone will generally come up to me and do 2 things: punch me in the balls for something I did, and tell me Verizon is going to get the iphone. Yesterday both of these things happened. What makes that day special is that we ran out of ice at work, and my throbbing balls remain in pain. Oh yea and Verizon is actually getting the iphone.
Needless to say, obscure nerd sites everywhere are exploding with joy at the thought of a Verizon operated iphone. These computer loving nutjobs seem to think that this is the second coming of Christ (or Steve Jobs or Bill Gates or some other guy who I’m too vanilla to know about). Why? No seriously why? Did Verizon add some amazing feature that is the is the equivalent of what Justin Beiber did for womans hairstyles? Are they excited about the ending of a de facto monopoly? Will looking at pornography be easier? That’s all I can think of. I’m just not sure.
Unfortunately, I will not be able to have an iphone. The reason for this is my mom won’t let me. Other reasons include: I have to wait for my current phone to die unexpectedly, which won’t ever happen because I take amazing care of my belongings. That’s just how I do. Take a look at this completely unnecessary video, taken with my Flip Video, that shows you all the amazing features of my current phone.
How about that?! Awesome right? Anyway. The Verizon iphone will be available soon, and I’m sure it will trigger the beginning of a true battle royal between tech nerds everywhere. Geeks with internet access everywhere will fight to the death for who can find the most problems first and be the king of the tech nerd blogs. I can already hear the endless debates over which has the faster network, whose antenna is better, and which phone is worse at simultaneously having the Stephen Hawking’s voice read War and Peace in Klingon (I’m sure there’s an app for that), while playing angry birds, while looking at ones self live via space, while video chatting with a loved one. I can’t wait.